The Curse of Dolce & Gabbana, or How I learned to stop breathing in the elevator

Posted: October 8, 2009 in School Daze
Tags: , ,

That smelly bastard struck again.  You’ve probably heard me complain about one of our building residents before; he’s notorious for wearing entirely too much fragrance.  I woke up early this morning and decided to pop down for a quick smoke before getting started on the day’s tasks. Upon entering the elevator, I felt as though my lungs, allergies and sinus cavaties had been violated by a particular scent belonging to much loved designers by the name Dolce & Gabbana.  I instantly got a headache.

Not only that, but when you leave the elevator and head towards the front door, there is a perfumed wake of stench that rolls ahead of you, out the doors and down into the courtyard.

Please, for the love of whatever God or Gods, STOP WEARING SO MUCH SHIT!  I think this kid bathes in it every morning (insert mental image of a kid splashing his face with a sink full of cologne).  I cannot breath if I ride in the elevator with him or after him.  It literally chokes me full of chemicals.

pepe le pewPerhaps people should be taught how to wear fragrance.  Allow me to explain, courtesy of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  Take your perfume, or cologne and spritz it into the air in front of you.  Step forward and allow it fall around you.  Done.  DO NOT spray seven times onto your body.  The effect is overwhelming stench.  It makes me think you have terrible body odor (which is possible) and/or you are trying to smell like a french whore.  I realize that this kid lives on the status of names, however, we do not need to be smelling him for 3 hours after he departs every day.  I could give a shit less if his “parfume” is Dolce & Gabbana, Armani, or even old spice.  Too much is too much, regardless of the damned name.

* * * * *

In other weird or scary news, Andrew Lloyd Weber has announced a sequel to Phantom of the Opera (gasp of horror) that will open in London in March.  According to the Associated Press this morning, the new show entitled Love Never Dies picks up the story of the Phantom and Christine, ten years after the end of Phantom of the Opera.  It is set, get this, in Coney Island at the turn of the century, where the Phantom has come following Christine’s decision to leave with Raoul.  Weber says that the music for the show will not feature any previous Phantom songs, with the exception of tiny musical moments.  As of right now, Ramin Karmaloo (who played the Phantom in London) and Sierra Boggess (of The Little Mermaid on Braodway) will take the roles of Phantom and Christine. For more information or to purchase tickets (ha!):

Will this musical suck? Only time will tell.

  1. ieatmypigeon says:

    GROSS!! Re: the Phantom sequel. Just when I thought ALW couldn’t sink any lower than allowing Joel Schumacher to make a “Young, sexy,” movie version with a Phantom WHO COULDN’T SING. I repeat: GROSS!!!

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