Here, drink this!

Posted: October 21, 2009 in School Daze
Tags: , ,

It is official: I absolutely hate my government and world affairs class.  I’m not sure why today I’m suddenly absolute about this other than I cannot take the idiot kids in my class anymore.  Let me demonstrate why:

Professor:  “What is the primary ingredient used in the world’s diet?”

Stupid Kid 1: “Food!”

No shit, Sherlock! I thought we ate buckets of lard.

Professor: “What is the main staple of the chinese diet?”

Stupid Kid 2:  “Chinese food!” (Insert stupid laughter from easily amused peons)

A girl in the second row: (Interrupting professor) “What does dexterity mean?”

If I don’t stop rolling my eyes, they are going to roll right out of my head. The kid next to me says, “I love my laptop, but I don’t really take notes on it during class.  I had some notes from a chapter, but I deleted them.” Point in fact, he’s IM’ing people during the professor’s lecture, which accounts for why he bombed the first exam.


Shush and drink it!

Whenever the kids ask or say something really stupid, the professor looks at me.  What the hell can I do? My suggestion is to give them all anti-freeze to drink.  It’s cheap, easily accessible, and cats love the way it tastes.  I suggested cyanide, but someone mentioned it smells/tastes like almonds, and they might be suspicious. But at a party (you know the kind I mean) you could easily slip in some anti-freeze into the punch.  Those fuckers are too wasted to tell, and then bam! It’s the Jim Jones cult deaths all over again, without the messy religious aspects.

Someone mentioned a few days ago that I’m looking at being here the wrong way, I should consider these kids a learning experience.  (cough) Bullshit (cough) What the hell could these idiots possible teach me? How to text in class without getting caught? I can already do that.  How to fail exams because you don’t study? No thanks, not a lesson I need since I have a nearly perfect gpa.  Of course, this is the same person who told me that he’s glad the girls are away from mommy and daddy, because they can show all the skin they want (I frequently comment that this girl or that looks like her ass is eating her shorts).  Hell, if I wanted a T-n-A show, I could go down to Club Envy and watch topless, used up women shake their bags.

Someone asked me again the other day if I planned on teaching when I get my Masters.  The answer? Only if I want to lose what’s left of my sanity.

Consider my suggestion:  Anti-freeze is a good way to get rid of stupid people.

In other news, work is grand.  I started last week, and today is the first day that I’ve actually had to sit down and really think.  I did something amazing last night….I fell asleep at 8:30!  I ended up awake at five thirty today, so I jumped up and decided to get some work done.  I go in at around 8 every day, and since I’m not capped at only 20 hours, I can get in some extra during the week for a much nicer, fatter paycheck next friday (hooray!)

So my job basically consists of:  type a file number, print the file, collate the file, attach it to a file, and drop it on someone else’s desk.  Shampoo, rinse, repeat.  Not hard at all.  I expected a much more stuffy, uptight place and got a nice, relaxed atmosphere with lots of perks and benefits.  I’m a happy camper.  Several of the new hires were telling me the same thing:  there has to be something wrong with this place!  So far, so good.  Tomorrow is another long day at work for me.  Unfortunately, my blog suffers from lack of time to write, what with reading for school and working all day.  Alas, some things just must be sacrificed in the name of the almighty dollar.  I’m completely okay with that, at least for now.  I’m absolutely sick to death of being broke, and in a week I can finally stop worrying about money.
That’s it for now. Unless “Cosmo Night” turns out to be interesting, in which case I’ll probably blog about it.  Otherwise, another day, another dollar.

  1. ieatmypigeon says:

    Serve Kool Aid at intermission?
    Kids really are a stupid pain in the ass. I remember being really embarrassed by my peer group when I was an undergrad, although I they were generally pretty chill inside the classroom. The dorms were a zoo, however. Kool Aid! Kool Aid!

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